I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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