'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
