life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
