I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
