the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
