He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
