Swine flu. Run for my life!
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Sext me about skeletons
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
