You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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