I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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