it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
