the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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