people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
