so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Cover your peen. We're going out.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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