i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
