big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
