didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
