Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
