'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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