So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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