That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize