In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
