I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Is her dick bigger than yours?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
