Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Why is your signature on my underwear?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize