last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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