What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
