I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
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