either way he was missing a nipple.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
