I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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