dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dude i'm inner monologue high
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
