At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
