I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My hand turned me down
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
