Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
