Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
