you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
