dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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