I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
