What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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