Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
