yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
