I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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