Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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