nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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