therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
