haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
