She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
