thus making me awesome and them whores
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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