apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize