he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
