It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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