she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
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Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
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