shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
