just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
