last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
