She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
