Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
