Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
