it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
