K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
