you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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