I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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