Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
