I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize