Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
