I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
