I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
