We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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