so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
