butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
