No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
