I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
