careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
